No-one Puts Baby In The Corner

boy-corner

We all have our own stories to tell of our childhood, some more damaging than others.  I am still struggling to put together the words that can move the darkness of my childhood into the light, where I can finally and ultimately let it go and set myself free.

Sometimes it is difficult to do that, especially when so much effort was made to keep it all hidden.

But sometimes, it is easy to get stuck on the pain and to allow our anger or our sense of victimhood to wrap around us as if it were our very skin.  We get lost.  We forget who we are, and without the very people who were supposed to love, nurture and protect us, there is no-one to hold on to the memory of who we once were.  Parents are meant to do that.  They are meant to know and understand who we are and to hold that for us while we travel physically and emotionally through life, struggling to find ourselves.  They are meant to be the touchstone of our lives that pull us back to the mirror where they say, “See, you are beautiful.  You are capable.  You are Loved.”

Somewhere in the forest of pain and sorrow that littered my growing up, I grew 8 ft tall and I stepped up to parent myself.  I am not saying that I did everything perfectly.  I doubt I did much of anything perfectly, but I did survive. 

I remember the night, where with unspoken words, I stepped away from the darkness and the pain and promised that frightened little girl in me, “I’ll keep you safe.”

Somehow I have made it through my life without surrendering my life, or my soul, to the darkness that surrounded my childhood.  I have moved myself forward and moved away from the ugliness.  Instead of the damage that was inflicted on me, I chose to interact in my world with healing and love.  I learned to forgive.  I strive to create beauty and peace.

THAT is the message of my life.  That is the victory.  We are oh so much stronger than we can ever know.  Love is not a commodity that we must ration out to one another.  It is a bottomless well.  It is the air around us, the energy that flows, it is creation itself.  I decide how much I tap into that.  Love is what made me powerful enough to parent myself.  Love kept me alive.  Love has lifted me high enough to fly.

How can I go through life denying that love that saved me to others?  If I did that I would be allowing that darkness power.  I would be giving the very thing it wanted.  Instead, I chose to empower the energy that saved me.  I was not defeated.  I am not a victim.  I am not my abusers.  Love is ultimately the wind that whispers to all of us, “I’ll keep you safe,” and all of our hearts are “masterpieces.”

 

I’LL KEEP YOU SAFE
by Sleeping At Last

I’ll keep you safe
Try hard to concentrate
Hold out your hand
Can you feel the weight of it
The whole world at your fingertips
Don’t be, don’t be afraid
Our mistakes they were bound to be made
But I promise you I’ll keep you safe

You’ll be an architect so pull up your sleeves
And build a new silhouette
In the skylines up ahead
Don’t be, don’t be afraid
Our mistakes they were bound to be made
But I promise you I’ll keep you safe
I’ll keep you safe

Darkness will be rewritten
Into a work of fiction, you’ll see
As you pull on every ribbon
You’ll find every secret it keeps
The sound of the branches breaking under your feet
The smell of the falling and burning leaves
The bitterness of winter

Or the sweetness of spring
You are an artist
And your heart is your masterpiece
And I’ll keep it safe

Dismiss the invisible
By giving it shape
Like a clockmaker fixes time
By keeping the gears in line
Don’t be, don’t be afraid
God knows that mistakes will be made
But I promise you I’ll keep you safe

As you build up your collection
Of pearls that you pulled from the deep
A landscape more beautiful than anything that I’ve ever seen
The sound of the branches breaking under your feet
The smell of the falling and burning leaves
The bitterness of winter
Or the sweetness of spring
You are an artist
And your heart is your masterpiece
And I’ll keep it safe

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s