Seeds of hate and anger, of contention and destruction, of stress and worry, are planted in our lives every day by those people we associate with, those we have contact with, and the situations we experience.
Most of those seeds simply blow by and bounce off of our hearts as we move purposefully forward.
But when the seed comes from someone that has any place within our hearts and lives, it always seems to manage to go deeper. Some seeds hit upon sensitive places of distant pain or worries and seem to target our fears. It is fertile ground, and they begin to take root.
Now and then, we run our thoughts over the slight irritation those seeds can cause, like a finger over a small bite on our skin, until it begins to itch. We scratch at it and we can make it bleed.
Most of us hold a cool cloth to the spot, some of us make it even worse by picking at it, causing it to fester, perhaps even become infected. Time passes and we seem powerless to leave it alone. It pulls our attention, it interrupts our other activities. This seed that was not born of our own thoughts, but hurled at us by another is at best a weed, at worst a poisonous growth that will choke out all else and completely darken our lives. We wait giving it the power to control us. We surrender to its demands.
We think those seeds into the pain they cause. We surround them with emotion and meaning. We feel anger at the person who delivered them and we wait for the other person to reclaim their unwelcomed gift by returning to retrieve it. We wait for their “I’m sorry,” so that we can pluck it out of our lives and be rid of it. But sadly, that does not always happen. Not everyone knows of, or is concerned about their careless seeds. They have moved on without a second backward glance at the damage they have caused.
So much is written about how noble, how Christian, it is to forgive others. We see it as the ultimate gift that was given to each of us that we now have to give to others . . . except that Christ was perfect, and we are not. But forgiveness is not about a benevolent gift, it is about survival and equilibrium.
There is no need to wait on the other person. We all have the ability to remove the seed like a piece of unwanted lint on a suit. We see it, we recognize it does not belong on the suit, we pick it off, and we let it go, either in a dust bin or at arms length, propelled away from us with the flick of a finger. It drops to the ground where it can no longer harm us.
We do the same thing with human seeds of words or deeds. Recognize it does not belong with us, pick it up, forgive the other for not knowing. It doesn’t matter if they did not understand what they were saying, or how it would hurt, or whether they just did not care. These are all forms of a lack of knowing. Forgiving them, without waiting for them to own their seed, is simply the most powerful thing you can do. It removes not only the seed but also all the intent, and any energy that comes with it. It is a seedectomy that is 100% successful in removing the cancer that causes us pain. It is about a choice you make for your life, long before any seeds are thrown or dropped. It is knowing who you are. It is knowing your heart and refusing to allow others to define you through the lens of their own pain or inadequacies.
We all have enough pain dealing with our own lives. Forgiving others insists that everyone keeps their heads down and works on their own papers. It is the greatest gift you give yourself, others . . . and the world. We need more forgiveness. We need more healing. We are such powerful beings, so capable of healing ourselves and by doing that, we contribute to the healing of the world around us.