We have all had the experience of being accused of doing or thinking something that we didn’t. We are shocked that someone would think us capable of such a thing. Often we are left to deal with the realization that the people around us really do not know us.
Developing self esteem involves a lot of practical steps that deal not only with how we view others, but the import we place on what others think of us. Everyone wants to feel like they are accepted and belong somewhere and when that is not the case, it can be painful.
I usually recommend that people spend some time alone. It is hard to even know who you are when you are always with “the group.” You really need to experience some solitude to be able to find your own voice. Discovering your thought processes and realizing the truths you own can be an amazing journey. Once an individual learns to centre or anchor himself, he recognizes the value of keeping that balance and taking regular opportunities to do so.
In this state, a human being feels perfect peace. There is a calm happiness that allows him to banish fears and to deal with what is at hand. He is not encumbered with what the group is doing or thinking, he can hear his own wisdom and see the path to take. There is unconditional love and acceptance for the journey because he approaches it with a sense of discovery and not a need to make it into an already fixed mold designed by other people.
There are so many instances in our life where we look or wait for the right choice. We do it all the time when we shop. We will drive for hours to find a good restaurant, or a place to stop for the night etc. Why wouldn’t we afford ourselves the same attention? We are not consumed with fear over the shoes we leave in the store when we pick out the perfect shoes for our big night. We consider our needs, we try them on and we pick the best pair.
Pick the best people, that fit YOU, that enhance your life and make you excited to get out of bed each day and embrace your life. People who do not get who you are and do not support that are somebody else’s friends. If you stay and pretend to be someone you are not, or lose who you are, you will indeed feel completely alone. We can all stand on a stage and act while the theatre is full and people applaud wildly. We can play the fool, or the hero or the villain. But after the theatre empties and we must go home alone, we are stripped of our costume and our make-up and we see ourselves in the bathroom mirror. We will never find those people meant to share our life’s journey if we are always surrounded by noisy people who haven’t a clue what our dreams are.