I like this because it reminds me I have a choice and choosing to be happy and move forward does not mean I don’t feel, or that I don’t need to deal with things. I just don’t always need to do it with other people or in front of other people.
It is a hard balance sometimes, being able to ask for help when you need it, but also being strong. I find, for me, that others sometimes make things harder. They want to help and they probably can, but I stubbornly have to figure things out myself, in my own way. I can’t really own it and learn the lesson unless I do. Sometimes that makes it more lonely and more painful than it maybe needs to be … but I understand that is just how it works.
There are times when other people’s victories just depress me. It adds pressure to my already ridiculous idea that I must get this solved immediately. They can do it, why can’t I? What is wrong with me? Sometimes their solutions fill my mind with limited ideas. When I work from scratch I consider everything and anything.
This is not a right or wrong … just how I work, and because I know it . . . I do it.